Abuse

Photo from Pexels by Steve Johnson.

Lorenzo Anzaldua

Acting like I’m fine knowing that I’m not

Knowing next time I do something wrong 

The next belting will begin 

The pounding on my skin

isn’t this a sin?

This big red mark

Then laying in the dark 

Playing hide and seek from the abuser 

I don't wanna play this game anymore I’m always the loser 

Hiding all the marks 

Scattered across my body parts

Putting on a fake smile 

It worked for a while

Flinching when people move 

But that’s the fact that no one knew, how to prove,

The reaction of flinching when you know it’s coming 

A bomb going off with the aftermath incoming 

The damage is done but not on the inside 

But always look on the bright side

“You know how to take a punch” they said 

But a punch always leads to bloodshed 

Like an army leads to war 

Like how rain leads to a downpour 

Background: Back when I was younger I didn't see my dad a lot, although when I did see him the few times I would go, my younger brother would abuse me. I'm not going to get into details, but at the time I didn't realize what it was until I got older and it broke me. I feel like I knew but  didn't connect the dots in my brain. At the time I thought it was just him messing around although it was not. It caused me to flinch whenever someone made a fast or sudden movement towards me, and has affected me in so many ways. I just hope anyone that is in a situation like that tries to reach out and find some sort of help. What helps me is to write and talk about my problems, and that's what caused me to share my poem.