Saying Less About What You Love
Photo by GQ.
When someone asks me what my favorite movies are, I almost never say the first answers that come to mind. I usually hesitate for a second, run through a list in my head, and then say something else. Not because it's untrue—I do love the films I end up naming—but because the obvious answers don't feel like they say enough about me. Most people that know me, know that I watch 100+ films a year, so it feels strange to admit that some of my favorite movies are also some of the most popular ones, like The Virgin Suicides or Donnie Darko, even though I've seen them both more times than I can count. Instead, I find myself reaching for something more obscure, usually a foreign film, like that makes my taste somehow more specific. I don't really know why I do it, but I know I'm not the only one.
There's something vaguely embarrassing about admitting you love something that everybody else already loves. It feels obvious, or predictable, like you're not really saying anything at all. Even if it's genuine, you can come across like you just picked the most accessible answer. I think that's why I hesitate. It's not that those movies mean any less to me; it's just that saying them out loud doesn't feel specific enough. It doesn't feel like it explains anything about my taste or why I connect to them in the first place.
That's where more niche films come in. When something isn't as widely seen, it starts to feel more personal, almost like you found it instead of it finding you. There's less noise around it; fewer opinions are already shaping how you're supposed to feel. You get to sit with it on your own terms. And when you do share it, it feels like you're sharing something a little more specific—something that actually reflects how you think.
It's also different when you meet someone who's seen the same kind of movie. Not just something popular, but something a little more random and specific. It feels less like “we both like movies” and more like you're on the same wavelength in a way that's harder to explain. There's something kind of comforting about that; you didn't just watch the same thing, you notice the same thing.
But I don't think this means popular movies matter less. If anything, the fact that I avoid saying them proves the opposite. I clearly love them; I just don't always feel like they represent me in the way I want them to. So I end up choosing something else, something that feels more intentional, even if it's not actually more meaningful.
Maybe it's not really about niche versus popularity at all. It's more about wanting your taste to feel like your own, instead of something you share with everyone else. And sometimes, the easiest way to do that is to reach for something a little less obvious, even if the obvious answer is the more honest one.
