Biketok: The Corniest Community in the World
Photo by Ramazan Esen Photography from Pexels.
Many people dream of becoming famous on social media. However, the percentage of people who actually make it is very low. Do you want to increase your chances of gaining tens of thousands of followers on TikTok? Are you willing to sacrifice anything for fame? Then there are many ways you can reach your goals, and BikeTok is one of them.
What are BikeTokers? BikeTokers, or helmet creators, are usually motorcycle-oriented influencers who post content on, but usually only loosely related to, motorcycling. Many tend to cover their faces using tinted motorcycle helmets. Some of them don’t even have a bike. Some do it to try to become famous and make money. Others just do it for the love of the game. And some others rely on their content to pull booktok girls. Whatever the case is, BikeTok is a very lucrative TikTok niche right now. With that being said, how can you start?
Part 1: Materials
The first thing you need to do is to prepare your mind and body. To become a BikeToker, you need to lose all of your dignity and sense of shame. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be able to post half the stuff you need to post. Once you’ve mentally prepared yourself, you need to physically prepare yourself as well. It’s not necessary, but getting as lean of a physique as possible is ideal. You could try to achieve that physique naturally, but who has time for that? Just hop on gear, it’ll be much easier. The idea here is to build the optimal physique for thirst trapping. Besides that, try to be conventionally attractive, and you’ll be fine.
BikeTokers are also called “helmet creators” for a reason. You need a helmet with a tinted visor to be a BikeTokers. One very popular helmet is the AGV Pista, which will set you back almost two thousand dollars and is a very premium and unnecessary purchase for most non-track riders. Another popular option is any helmet with cat ears or a fuzzy helmet cover. Any helmet works, but if it has a clear visor, you can forget about it. Clear visors look lame, despite being very useful for seeing at night. The funny thing here is these “BikeTokers” wear little to no gear other than their helmets. They are often seen in their TikToks completely shirtless, wearing pajamas, or an all black fit with a hoodie and sweatpants, which will do absolutely nothing in case of a crash. Gloves are optional. Do not wear riding pants, riding jackets, or riding boots, as those aren’t very “BikeToker” like.
Motorcycles are optional. Lots of BikeTokers don’t even post themselves riding. However, most BikeTokers go for mid to high displacement sport bikes. The most popular options are the S1000RR, R1, R7, and the Ninja 500. A less popular option is naked bikes, such as the MT-07 and Z650. Be sure to avoid any motorcycle that doesn’t make you look cool. Examples of this are the XR150L, WR250R, and most scooters. You can make these work, but you really hurt your chances in the TikTok algorithm if you don’t follow all the other sheep and sell your kidneys for a dealership new literbike. Besides that, make your bike appear as flashy as possible with egregious Amazon LEDs and plastic aero. However, bikes like these are expensive, so how can you get your hands on them? It's actually very simple: Take out a 144 month loan with a 25.99% APR. This will get you the bike you want, guaranteed.
Part 2: Content
If you have no motorcycle, that’s okay. There’s a myriad of content you can post that doesn’t require a bike. A popular option is thirst traps. If your physique is good enough, record yourself with your shirt off, helmet on, and tinted visor down. Then, watch the money and thirsty BookTok girls roll in. If this isn’t you, try dancing or lip syncing with your helmet on. Just give it a shot, it might work. Otherwise, get creative. Look at previous BikeToks for inspiration. There’s really no end to how you can dishonor your bloodline for generations to come, even without a bike.
However, if you have a bike, your options increase massively. Something as simple as sitting on your bike and yapping about whatever will rake in thousands of views. In addition, anything you can do without a bike can be done with one. There is a common misconception that BikeTokers are good at riding, since they own a bike. This is entirely false. You barely have to know more than how to go moderately fast in a straight line to find success. If you want to ride your bike, consider recording roller shots. A roller is a type of moving shot where the bike is driving on the road and another car records the bike from in front. These rollers are often filmed on the highway, and they show the rider trying to look cool on their bike that they spent their life savings on. Make sure to put a vibrant filter onto your footage and include some deep-sounding captions. Otherwise, roll around looking for police attention. Then, when you get pulled over, act like the victim and post the footage of the “police abusing their authority.” People will either believe you or clown on you, but who cares? If you're feeling adventurous, you can try recording federal crimes and posting them on the internet. You can either use a GoPro or an Insta360 to record yourself losing your 5 star wanted level.
Step 1 would be to get police attention. A wheelie or a quick redline pull will do the trick. Step 2, record yourself leaving the officer in your dust. While doing this, blur your speedometer. That way, the feds can’t use the video as evidence. You get extra anti-fed points if you say the footage is AI generated or from Assetto Corsa. Finally, post it on the Internet for all to see. You might walk free for the rest of your life, or you might end up in a cell for 10 years. Either way, your video has a fair chance of going viral. You can also take up the whimsical and completely safe hobby of highway roll racing. This form of content is very prone to go viral, but it comes at a huge cost: never being able to enjoy motorcycling under 150 miles per hour ever again.
There are lots of BikeTokers to take inspiration from. If you want to go down the shirtless, thirst trapping route, look to Matthew Woods for inspiration. Sure, he can’t ride, but he can thirst trap BookTok girls like nobody else. He can also cheat on BookTok girls like nobody else. If this isn’t for you and you actually want to ride, let Gixxer brah inspire you. We know he's more popular for his Youtube channel, but if you want to record yourself going so fast you make it from Colorado Springs to Denver in 20 minutes, you can take inspiration from him.
Part 3: Conclusion
You have it all now. The TikTok money, the Internet clout, the BookTok girls. But was it all worth it? Your body is broken and failing you. Worst of all, the BookTok girls don’t want you anymore. You’re old news. Everyone has moved on. You realize that chasing popularity and fame is never worth it, especially if you have to fake your entire persona for some clicks on the internet. This is why we are all so unhappy with ourselves. A lot of people are trying to become a fake, manufactured version of themselves. Looksmaxxers hit themselves in the face repeatedly with a hammer to change their facial structure to become as attractive as Clavicular. Regular people mindlessly consume the latest trends to keep up with everyone else. Labubus, Coachella tickets, Dubai Chocolate, luxury SUVs, Stanley Cups, Louis Vuitton handbags, designer clothing, the latest iPhone, you name it. People blindly follow these trends because being your own person is harder than following the herd. All of the BikeTok community wears tinted visors, not only because that’s what gets featured on the algorithm, but because the visor allows them to adopt their mysterious biker boy persona which everyone else on the platform has. We are biologically hardwired to want more and more, and social media happens to accelerate those desires. Don’t buy things you don’t need, with money you don’t have, to impress people you don’t like. Let others sacrifice their dignity, their sanity, their lives, and their bank accounts to chase meaningless Internet clout. The secret to happiness is being content with what you already have.
